SIS.L

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HAVING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AGAIN.

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The first thing people have asked me after I told them I'm going to London to study is: "What about Matt?" I usually don’t respond immediately, but put my little nervous smile on and think of how lucky I am to have a person so close to me that people see it as a matter of course that we belong together. Almost like we are one person.
Then I break out a little nervous laugh and say: “He is staying home in Copenhagen." And then people look at me with a tender and understanding, but still astonished look and then all the questions come. I usually answer:

Mhmm, he is betraying his own country. But yes. He is staying in Denmark."
"Yes, it will be hard"
"We have tried it before, for a year and a half"
"Ryanair has been our
saviour before and will definitely be it again"
"Yes, I'm going to cry myself to sleep the first few weeks".

And then there are many who do not quite understand why it's hard or try to make this really big thing as a long distance relationship is, to a small thing by saying things like:

"Fortunately, England is not that far away."
"It's good there are Facetime, Messenger, Skype and all those things."
"If you two are meant to be, then all will go well."

And, of course, they are right about it all. But I'm in the belief that, of course, you have to work for a relationship and that you need the time and the economy to keep the distance bearable. And that will be harder this time because we have been used to seeing each other every single day for the past 3 years and sharing everything in our everyday life. On the other hand, we are more flexible now and decide our own life and money. So we can decide when we HAVE the time to see each other now.
It's strange to go from having a long-distance relationship for 1 year and 3 months to live together for 3 years to now have a long-distance relationship again for 3 years. That is strange, yes!

As always, I have made a long list of things that will happen, In order to meet this future we have decided to call future

  • see each other every 3rd week, see each other every term
  • matt stays in the apartment, airbnb sometimes or he finds a room and gives up apartment
  • need to have stuff that reminds me of us, sentimental things 
  • won't get a cat, dog and kids for at least 3 years 
  • have to find out how to live together again afterwards 
  • forcing us to socialise with others, both good and bad
  • celebrating important dates together 
  • feeling alone and lonely
  • being scared of loosing each other 
  • the intimacy is going to be good when missing each other
  • will we share our everyday life well enough with each other
  • separate economies 
  • which things should each of us keep / find specific things to bring to the UK 
  • becoming tougher and more independent from each other
  • only eat vegetarian 
  • celebrating christmas together every year with both families
  • facetiming/calling each other every day

 

I promise I will tell you ongoing about our relationship now as a long distance one.